Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Tips on Getting Dad to Help Around The House

Love this article that was originally posted on CharlotteMommies.com's Blog. Great info on how to get Dad to help around the house :)

Original Post Info: CharlotteMommies
Subject: Tips on Getting Dad to Help Around the House


Children bring on a lot of joy to a home, but unfortunately also bring on a whole new set of stressors. The number one stressor, labor in the home. Even in the most equal households the mother tends to take up more housework and childcare then the partner, even when the mother is a full-time worker herself. Research has shown that distributing task makes both the husband and wife more fulfilled in their marriage. Here are some tips on making it happen.

• Look at it from your partner’s point of view. Women tend to compare their spouses to themselves and the men tend to compare themselves with their fathers and male coworkers and friends. In this scenario is it no wonder your husband will never met your expectations but your husband will most likely think their more then meeting your expectations.

• Don’t ask for help. By asking for help you reinforce the idea that he is your assistant and not an equal partner. Try to find another way of asking him to do his share.

• Realize that your way isn’t the only way. Men and women often see things differently. That doesn’t mean that one way is right and the other wrong. Your husband may be proud of the way he cleaned the bathroom while you still see the stain around the toilet bowl and spots on
the shower. Avoid criticizing and he may be willing to be more involved in the housework. There’s no harm done if the babies diaper is a little loose or if his hair is parted on a different side of his head.

• Go on strike. Set limits on what you are willing to do and where you draw the line. Let your partner know you expect him to do his share and if he doesn’t, well, then frankly, it won’t get done. He may get the point when his side of the bed is a toxic hazard or he runs out of clean
underwear. The hardest part for you is turning a blind eye to the mess for a while until he realizes that you mean business.

• Insincerity isn’t always a bad thing. Men like to feel competent. Try throwing in a few complements even when you know you could have done a better job. Try to brag on him to a friend while he is in earshot. The more he feels appreciated, the more he’ll be willing to do. Who knows, you may even find a true talent.

• Don’t be the Keeper of the house. Many women like to control the house, as this is one area they feel the most competent. Give your partners room to help. Women have been preparing for this roll for their whole lives, while men are relatively still new at taking more active rolls in the home. Let your partner figure out some stuff out for himself. Men need to find their own approaches through practice and trial and error. Letting him develop his own style of doing things around the house will make feel more adequate and more able to do things on his own.

• Share responsibilities. Make a list of what needs to be done and decide together who would be most qualified for those certain jobs. Negotiate between the jobs. Switch them out every now and then so you don’t both get board with one certain job in particular.

• Define “work”. Many couples don’t think of child rearing as an ordinary chore, yet it takes up just as much time and energy. Don’t assume that the partner taking care of the baby has the easiest job, as we all know that isn’t always the case. If you cook dinner one night while he keeps the kids content, switch rolls the next night. We all know that even in these days of mother/father equality there is no miraculous way to make your partner superman. Much of the burden has always, and probably will always fall on old trusty Mom. But it doesn’t always have to be all the burden, all the time. Take a reality check.. Realize that these changes may take a while. Given time I’m sure you’ll start to see some improvement in all aspects off your household, as parents and partners.


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Handling Unwanted Advice

We've all been there as moms. When you're pregnant, have a new baby, toddler, any aged child there is ALWAYS tons of advice from everyone. Sometimes it's helpful...and sometimes you've had enough. Here is a great article from TriadMommies.com's blog that has some great ideas and information about dealing with situations like this :)

OPI: TriadMommies
Subject: Handling Unwanted Advice


“Help! I’m getting so frustrated with the endless stream of advice I get from my mother-in-law and brother! No matter what I do, I’m doing it wrong. I love them both, but how do I get them to stop dispensing all this unwanted advice?”

Just as your baby is an important part of your life, he is also important to others. People who care about your baby are bonded to you and your child in a special way that invites their counsel. Knowing this may give you a reason to handle the interference gently, in a way that leaves everyone’s feelings intact.

Regardless of the advice, it is your baby, and in the end, you will raise your child the way that you think best. So it’s rarely worth creating a war over a well-meaning person’s comments. You can respond to unwanted advice in a variety of ways:

Listen first
It’s natural to be defensive if you feel that someone is judging you; but chances are you are not being criticized; rather, the other person is sharing what they feel to be valuable insight. Try to listen - you may just learn something valuable.

Disregard
If you know that there is no convincing the other person to change her mind, simply smile, nod, and make a non-committal response, such as, “Interesting!” Then go about your own business...your way.

Agree
You might find one part of the advice that you agree with. If you can, provide wholehearted agreement on that topic.

Pick your battles
If your mother-in-law insists that Baby wear a hat on your walk to the park, go ahead and pop one on his head. This won’t have any long-term effects except that of placating her. However, don’t capitulate on issues that are important to you or the health or well-being of your child.

Steer clear of the topic
If your brother is pressuring you to let your baby cry to sleep, but you would never do that, then don’t complain to him about your baby getting you up five times the night before. If he brings up the topic, then distraction is definitely in order, such as, “Would you like a cup of coffee?”

Educate yourself
Knowledge is power; protect yourself and your sanity by reading up on your parenting choices. Rely on the confidence that you are doing your best for your baby.

Educate the other person
If your “teacher” is imparting information that you know to be outdated or wrong, share what you’ve learned on the topic. You may be able to open the other person’s mind. Refer to a study, book, or report that you have read.

Quote a doctor
Many people accept a point of view if a professional has validated it. If your own pediatrician agrees with your position, say, “My doctor said to wait until she’s at least six months before starting solids.” If your own doctor doesn’t back your view on that issue, then refer to another doctor - perhaps the author of a baby care book.

Be vague
You can avoid confrontation with an elusive response. For example, if your sister asks if you’ve started potty training yet (but you are many months away from even starting the process), you can answer with, “We’re moving in that direction.”

Ask for advice!
Your friendly counselor is possibly an expert on a few issues that you can agree on. Search out these points and invite guidance. She’ll be happy that she is helping you, and you’ll be happy you have a way to avoid a showdown about topics that you don’t agree on.

Memorize a standard response
Here’s a comment that can be said in response to almost any piece of advice: “This may not be the right way for you, but it’s the right way for me.”

Be honest
Try being honest about your feelings. Pick a time free of distractions and choose your words carefully, such as, “I know how much you love Harry, and I’m glad you spend so much time with him. I know you think you’re helping me when you give me advice about this, but I’m comfortable with my own approach, and I’d really appreciate if you’d understand that.”

Find a mediator
If the situation is putting a strain on your relationship with the advice-giver, you may want to ask another person to step in for you.

Search out like-minded friends
Join a support group or on-line club with people who share your parenting philosophies. Talking with others who are raising their babies in a way that is similar to your own can give you the strength to face people who don’t understand your viewpoints.

To talk about more information like this, ask questions, meet other local moms, etc be sure to go to www.NWMichiganMommies.com and register for FREE!!
Monday, June 27, 2011

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Friday, June 24, 2011

Share Your Viewpoints with The Mommies Network!


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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Taking A Road Trip with Your Baby

It's summer time!! There are usually lots of trips to various places going on throughout the summer time and into the fall. In Northern Michigan, most of those trips aren't very quick, fast or short. Here are some great tips and information from an article that was shared on TriadMommies.com's blog!


To Grandmother’s house we go! And you’ll be in the car for five whole hours - how can you make the trip enjoyable with a baby along?

Learn about it
There’s no question: Marathon car trips with a baby on board take a good amount of planning and organization. But it can be done - and yes, it can even be fun!

Planning the trip
In the hustle that precedes a trip, it can be easy to let things happen, instead of make things happen. Be proactive in making your trip decisions. Contemplating these questions, and coming up with the right answers, can help make your trip more successful:

-Does your baby sleep well in the car? If yes, plan your travel time to coincide with a nap or bedtime so your baby can sleep through part of the journey. If not, plan to leave immediately after a nap or upon waking in the morning. Don’t fool yourself into thinking your baby will behave differently than usual in the car just because it’s a special occasion.

-Is it necessary to make the trip all at once, or can you break it up with stops along the way? The longer your baby is strapped in the carseat, the more likely he’ll become fussy. Planning a few breaks can keep everyone in a better frame of mind.

-When estimating an arrival time, have you factored in plenty of extra time for unplanned surprises? A diaper explosion that requires a complete change of clothes or a baby whose inconsolable crying requires an unexpected 20-minute stop are just two of the things that can easily happen.

-Do you have everything you need to make the trip pleasant? Items like:
-Window shades to protect your baby from the sun and create a darker, nap-inducing atmosphere.
-A cooler for cold drinks; a bottle warmer if needed.
-Plenty of toys that are new or forgotten favorites saved just for the trip.
-Baby-friendly music on tape or CD.
-A rear-view baby mirror to keep on eye on baby (unless a second person will be sitting with your little one)
-Books to read to your baby.

Preparing the car
Take plenty of time to get the car ready for your trip. If two adults are traveling, consider yourself lucky and arrange for one person to sit in the backseat next to the baby. If you are traveling alone with your little one, you’ll need to be more creative in setting up the car, and you’ll need to plan for more frequent stops along the way.

Here are a few tips for making the car a traveling entertainment center for your baby:

-Use ribbon or yarn and safety pins or tape to hang an array of lightweight toys from the ceiling of the car to hang over your baby. An alternative is to string a line from one side of the car to the other with an array of toys attached by ribbons. Bring along an assortment of new toys that can be exchanged when you stop the car for a rest. Just be sure to use small toys and keep them out of the driver’s line of view.

-Tape brightly colored pictures of toys on the back of the seat that your baby will be facing.

-If no one will be sitting next to your baby and your child is old enough to reach for toys, set up an upside-down box next to the car seat with a shallow box or a tray with ledges on top of it. Fill this with toys that your baby can reach for by himself. You might also shop around for a baby activity center that attaches directly to the carseat.

-If you plan to have someone sitting next to baby, then provide that person with a gigantic box of toys with which to entertain the little one - distraction works wonders to keep a baby happy in the car. One of the best activities for long car rides is book reading. Check your library’s early reading section; it typically features a large collection of baby-pleasing titles in paperback that are easier to tote along than board books.

-Bring along an assortment of snacks and drinks for your older baby who’s regularly eating solids, and remember to bring food for yourself, too. Even if you plan to stop for meals, you may decide to drive on through if your baby is sleeping or content - saving the stops for fussy times.

-Bring books on tape or quiet music for the adults for times when your baby is sleeping. The voice on tape may help keep your baby relaxed, and it will be something you can enjoy.

-If you’ll be traveling in the dark, bring along a battery-operated nightlight or flashlight.

Car travel checklist
-Well-stocked diaper bag
-Baby’s blanket
-Carseat pillow or head support
-Window shades (sun screens)
-Change of clothes for your baby
-Enormous box of toys and books
-Music or books on tape or CDs
-Baby food, snacks, and drinks for your baby
-Sipper cups
-Snacks and drinks for the adults
-Cooler
-Wet washcloths in bags, or moist towelettes
-Empty plastic bags for leftovers and trash
-Bottle warmer
-Cell phone
-Baby’s regular sleep music or white noise (if needed, bring extra batteries)
-First aid kit/prescriptions/medications
-Jumper cables
-Money/wallet/purse/ID
-Medical and insurance information/emergency phone numbers
-Maps/driving directions
-Baby carrier/sling/stroller
-Camera and film
-Suitcases

During the journey
If you’ve carefully planned your trip and prepared your vehicle, you’ve already started out on the right foot. Now keep these things in mind as you make your way down the road:

-Be flexible. When traveling with a baby, even the best-laid plans can be disrupted. Try to stay relaxed, accept changes, and go with the flow.
-Stop when you need to. Trying to push “just a little farther” with a crying baby in the car can be dangerous, as you’re distracted and nervous. Take the time to stop and calm your baby.
-Put safety first. Make sure that you keep your baby in his carseat. Many nursing mothers breastfeed their babies during trips. This can be dangerous in a moving car, even if you are both securely belted: You can’t foresee an accident, and your body could slam forcefully into your baby. Instead, pull over and nurse your baby while he’s still in his carseat. That way, when he falls asleep, you won’t wake him up moving him back into his seat.
-Remember: Never, ever leave your baby alone in the car - not even for a minute.

On the way home
You may be so relieved that you lived through your trip that you sort of forget the other trip ahead of you: the trip home. You’ll need to organize the trip home as well as you did the trip out. A few days in advance, make certain that all your supplies are refilled and ready to go. Think about the best time to leave, and plan accordingly. In addition, think about what you learned on the trip to your destination that might make the trip home even easier. Is there something you wish you would have had but didn’t? Something you felt you could have done differently? Did you find yourself saying, “I wish we would have…”? Now’s the time to make any adjustments to your original travel plan so that your trip back home is pleasant and relaxed.



Originally posted on TriadMommies.com


If you have more questions, are looking for information, want to meet new moms, find events for your little ones this summer please be sure to go to our website at: http://www.nwmichiganmommies.com/forum/index.php and register to be a member. It's FREE!!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Our Storking Program


Have you registered to be a member of NWMichiganMommies.com? Are you expecting a sweet new baby or more? Be sure to get registered, start posting and attending events and you could be part of our Storking Program!!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Welcome to NWMichiganMommies!!

WELCOME to NWMichiganMommies.com's new blog!! We're finally up and running and ready to get to posting.

As part of The Mommies Network, NWMichiganMommies.com is a free community for moms in Antrim, Charlevoix, Grand Traverse, Kalkaska & Leelanau Counties, Michigan. We realize that all moms need local support -- and who can't use another friend? NWMichiganMommies.com offers a simple way to connect with local moms for friendship, support and fun. Members meet on our private discussion forums to share information on everything from where to get the best haircut to tips on transitioning to a "big kid" bed. Each month, we also offer many face-to-face events for our members, their children and their families. Register today to access our discussion forums, events calendar and more! It's free and we'll keep your info secure and private!


To learn more about what NWMichiganMommies.com is you can visit our website here:

My name is Sara Keast and I'm the Founder/Chapter Manager for NWMichiganMommies. We not only are on our website: NWMichiganMommies.com but we have a facebook page to help our site promotion efforts. So be sure to visit us on facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/NWMichiganMommies and "like" our page! Share it with your friends and family as well!!

We have some great events on our calendar in the next couple weeks and next month will be full of them! :) I hope to see you as a new member, in the forum and at events!

Have a Marvelous Monday!!

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